See, I'm not a morning person.
It takes ridiculous amounts of coffee & KND + Ben 10: Alien force to get me all stirred up. And that's just on weekends. Weekdays, especially Mondays, are a whole different level of personal distress. Which is why I'm currently coaxing my mind out of the zone of the half dead by juicing it up with fantasies of yours truly delivering -in scathing tones- Dilbert's rules of order to a chivvy office audience.
Now i have no idea who this Dilbert guy is, but I salute him for coming up with rules like:
-I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
-Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
-Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days the statue.
-I don't have an attitude problem, others have a perception problem.
-I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
-You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter
-Everybody is somebody Else's weirdo....
...Wickedly fun no? But at this rate I'll probably ante it up to imaginary re-enactments of Carrie or the chain saw massacre so let's move on to something more wholesome like...say, lists. Now lists are fuuuun. Lists get me all perky and a perky Nyambura, is a veeery productive Nyambura. Besides, with lists, the possibilities are endless...you can make fun lists based on anything that pops into your head...
Take Entertainment weekly, who recently put together a list of 100 greatest characters in pop culture over the last 20 years, which basically features fictional women, men, ogres, muppets, babies & cartoon rockers who made a lasting impact after 1990. Most of my faves made the list (YAY!). Others evoked in me involuntary eye rolls & arched eyebrows... Borat? WTF!!!... Edward 'put-me-to-sleep' Cullen made the list & Vampire diaries' Damon Salvatore didn't? Worse, he's ranked ahead of HIMYM's Barney, The Shield's Vic Makey & Friday night lights Tim Riggins?!! Seriously???!!
Fuck their list, I say.
Here's MY greatest fictional characters (in pop culture) in the past 20 yrs list:
1. Capt. Jack Sparrow- Pirates of the Caribbean movies
2. Al Swearengen- Dead wood
3. Barney- How I met your mother
4. Damon Salvatore- Vampire Diaries
5. Jack Bauer- 24
6. Sydney Bristow -Alias
7. Veronica Mars- Veronica Mars
8. Keyser Soze- The Usual Suspects
9. Harry Potter - Harry Potter
10. Jax - Sons of Anarchy
11. Cameron- Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
12. Omar-The wire
13. Vic Makey- The Shield
14. Gollum-Lord of the rings
15. The 'big man' (played by Papa Shirandula) in the very first Brrr coca cola commercial
16. Tim Riggins- Friday night lights
17. Don Draper- Mad men
18. Detective Alonzo Harris- Training day (After this performance, i never looked at Denzel the same way again)
19. Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf- Gossip Girl (the Tv series)
20. Tony Soprano- The Sopranos
21. The Joker- Dark Knight
22. Chandler Bing- Friends
23. Sheldon, Leonard, Rajesh & Howard- Big Bang Theory (they're totally inseparable)
24. Buffy - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
25. Dr. Bailey- Grey's Anatomy
26. Sponge Bob- Sponge bob square pants
27. Dr. House- House, M.D
28. Madea- From the Tyler Perry films & plays
29. Dexter Morgan- Dexter
30. Amanda Wood ward- Melrose Place
31. Lex Luthor-Smallville
Honorable mentions: (characters created before 1990 but still leave me smiling)
1. Fred Sanford- Sanford n Son
2. Dr. Huxtable- Cosby Show
3. Pepe Le Pew- Looney tunes
4. Steve Urkel- Family matters
There. Short n sweet...
You're already arching your eyebrow & backing up that lip curl with a Mscheeew! aren't you?....tempted to make an even cooler list & declare mine lame? See? FUN. Sure as hell beats doodling or playing solitaire...
Now back to work.
PS: Allow me to share the below excerpt from a speech delivered by James Cameron
"...Don't put limitations on yourself. Other people will do that for you. Don't do that to yourself. Don't bet against yourself. And take risk. NASA has this phrase that they like, 'Failure is not an option.' But failure has to be an option. In art and exploration, failure has to be an option. Because it is a leap of faith. And no important endeavor that required innovation was done without risk. You have to be willing to take those risks...In whatever you are doing, failure is an option. But fear is not..."