The announcement of the K.C.S.E results last week and the subsequent discussions concerning the 'what next' had me scouring through the corner of my mind (the one that I reserve for discarded memories, ghosts and other dark, creepy crawlies) picking up and quietly examining some high school and college memories...
And later on, I ended up scribbling the below to my younger self...
Now my draft note on the other hand, looked something like this:
The Devil (or God) is in the details. Let it be your rule of thumb as you embark on the everyday.
Yes. Doodling on the pages and daydreaming is much more interesting but try to make a genuine effort when it comes to your studies. You'll learn some pretty cool stuff...and said cool stuff may lead you down some pretty fascinating roads...
And yes, that A+ on your test scores is a golden key. But remember, it may not necessarily be the key to the right door. And the door you think is the right one may not lead to the place where you need to be. Broaden your horizon, girl.
No, dear. The jeans didn't shrink after washing. Your body just grew out as you were busy sampling those Bhajias, getting second helpings of pasta and giving the fitness buffs the evil eye...so dance and take lots of walks. And oh, eat lots of apples too.
Don't be so afraid of making mistakes.
It's OK to hear and march to a different drum beat. Is it Lonesome? Yes. But the alternative will just break your heart.
Never forget to laugh. Most importantly, never forget how it feels to laugh.
Now for the sucky news. When it comes to guys and romantic love, I still haven't figured it out. You'd think having guys as your besties would make things easier to fathom. It doesn't.
This much I can tell you though: When it comes to guys who're into you, pay attention to their actions and not so much on their utterings. Of course, if they keep saying they never ever want to get married (and they're like thirty-nine), then by all means believe them. And please don't secretly hope they'll change their minds no matter how awesome they are to be with.
Allow yourself to enjoy the experience that comes with being in love even if deep down you're terrified it will poof or go to hell any minute.
Don't pass up that camel ride. You know the one I'm talking about...and whoever thinks you're being silly, well, that's their problem.
In every relationship, be it with family, friends or lovers, know your limits; the deal breakers.
Don't surround yourself with cynics. Cynics won't learn anything new. They won't dream, believe, create or transform. Their attitude not only grates on your nerves, it anchors down your spirit.
I know most people in high school are such tools. Pretty soon though (in college in fact) you're going to discover that yes, people can be tools. But people can be beautiful too especially those you think you have little in common with. Get to experience their awesomeness.
Keep dreaming, darling. Keep reaching for that horizon.
Truth be told, life won't always have answers or solutions. You won't always get what you want. You will fall. You will be disappointed. You will get tired. You'll experience fear, despair and longing. And it will leave you with a kind of soul-hurt that makes you want to curl up in a corner and die. Don't give in to that feeling. Just grab your big girl panties and push through that pain.
Why?
'Cause you're awesome and you at least owe yourself that much.
Mob wendos,
Nyambura
